Filed under: Mom
sometimes, even when we are surrounded by those we love, people who reciprocate our love, we can still feel lonely/isolated/desolate
sometimes i just which i could talk to Mom, then i think, that might make it worse. . . i spent a little time this past weeke going bacck and reading past journal entries,the entries were kindof a shotgun effect ofr the past 5 or 6 years i staearted readeing the entreis i wrote in about 9th grade and contineued reading through tenth grade into 11th past mom’s death. and i remember having derams where she never died and how much harder that maded it to deal with the reality of her death. so i guesse its better that i cant dialague with here, sometimes i do talk to here, just right to her. . . “mom i miss you” “isnt he sweet” “thank God I got your smile” “did you see that” “i love you” “i wish you were here” “are you seeing this sunset” ect and its comforting to know that in death she doesnt cease to exist
maybe im dwelling on it too much lately, its just wierd, i miss her, i wouldnt change my life. . . but i miss her
a large part of who i am is because of her presence, and her absence in my life
