ThePerspectiveOfABloomingWallFlower

samson and delila quote

i saw an opera tonight w/ kate and kids from her vocal club

my favorite interpretation of the french opera was

the lilys of the field are sweet, but my kisses are sweeter

disapointment

its amazing how we give the most undeserving people the power to make us feel invisible and insignificant

update

so its been a while, mostly due to growing pains. . . its been a little rough the last few months and i didnt exactly want to publish it

so  here’s the gist, im growing up, and i like it i love it but that doesnt mean that it doest hurt sometimes, my birthday is coming up and im trying to decide why birthday’s are importnat or rathe why i wash they werent i’ve partially decided that im not a huge fan of my birthdays because its one more year with out mom i cant immage with any accuacy what function mom would play in my life if she hadnt died 5.5 years ago but birthdays and holidays and friends phone calls home alwayse make me acutely aware of mom’s physical absence in my life and i’d sometimes rather not deal with that head on

from a friend

This is the away message and buddy info of a friend its pretty awesome i hope she doesnt mind me posting it, I hope you enjoy it!

 

What’s in your kiss…?

Kiss on the forehead-forever you will be mine
Kiss on the cheek-we’re friends
Kiss on the neck-we belong together
Kiss on the shoulder-I want you
Kiss on the lips-I love you
Kiss on the belly-let’s have sex
Kiss on the ear-I can’t live without you
Holding hands-We can learn to love each other
Slap on the butt-That’s mine
Looking into each other’s eyes-Don’t let go
Playing with hair on head-Tell me you love me
Arms around the waist-I love you too much to let go
Laughing while kissing-I am completely comfortablewith you

Call if you wanna do something

---

My hope is my prayer for the one I will be with forever. Know that you are loved already.And I learned how to kiss on a ferris wheel 

And I made wishes at wishing wells 

And I fell into that fairytale too

And I know that love ain’t so easy 

 But we trie, didn’t we baby

It’s allright

Some dreams weren’t meant to come true

I learned that from you 

If you want, then start to laugh,

If you must, then start to cry,

Be yourself, dont hide

Just believe in destiny

Don’t care what people say,

Just follow your own way,

Dont give up and use the chance,

To return to innocence

If you try to look

But you dont touch

Then you wont touch

But you’ll never feel

And if you don’t feel

You’ll never cry

And if you dont cry

Then you’ll never heal

Open my eyes Lord, help me to see your face.
Open my ears Lord, help me to hear your voice.
Open my heart Lord, help me to love.
I live within you.
Deep in your heart, O Love.
I live within you. Rest now in me.

Do what makes you happy
be with those who make you smile
laugh as much as you breathe
and love as long as you live

*Love finds a way…some people change.*

“Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.”

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding, but in all ways acknowledge Him, and he will make straight your path.”

GIVE- LIVE- LOVE

Love with all your heart and believe that everything happens for a reason. If it changes your life – let it.

hug harder.smile bigger.llove longer

From prayer comes faith,
From faith comes love.
From love comes service,
From service comes peace.
-Mother Teresa

a little confused right now

maybe he’s just not that into me. . .

again

ouch

sweet guys

sometimes even sweet guys make being a sweet girl painfuly difficult

I’m sure the reverse is also true

it’s been an eventful weekend

to the girls and guys who know what i am talking about know that you are amazingly beautiful people, with value independednt of every other person in the world

Things that make me happy!

getting up at 5:30 to have breakfast with Dad befor he leaves for work

. . . then going back to bed, rooling up in the covers, and sleeping in till 10:00

flipping through my old stamp collection

standing in the warm space btw the screen door and the front porch door (cause the sun’s been shining there all morning)

birds singing

seeing things around the house that connect me to the past (ex old books, trinkits, collections, paintings)

random stuff form my

So I went and saw my cardiologist today some fun stuff from it. . .

Dr K: so what are you doing for activity???

Me: . . . um, taking the steps. . .

later on in the apt/inteview of my not so heart friendly lifestyle

Dr K: Do you have a boy friend yet

(she askes me this every time i see her, and i give her the same answer everythime i se her. . .)

Me: . . . No. . . (then i elaborate) the guys i like, just dont seem to like me

(at this point the apt shifts from cardiological advice to relationship discussion)

Dr K: I find that hard to believe (flattering, but then again she only see’s me what once/twice a year)

Me: O, well im working on it (not sure if i said this because i am or because i dont want her to think that im an unusualy strange not so typical college student) there’s this guy. . .

Dr K: o well does he show interest

Me: well im not sure. . . ( i elaborate some more then divert the conversation)

so ya it wasnt too bad of a visit, my cholesterol is up from my last visit. . . my weight is up a kg or so (i’m blaming both of these on the collge lifestyle, aka cafeteria. . .but also my lack of exercise dicipline, self control in selecting food, and lack of patient compliance first semester, all of which im attempting to improve this semester. . . my patient compliance is pretty darn close to 100%!)

ya and now its bed time

detached ramblings about apathy

ive come to the decision that the biggest problem we have in America, is apathy. . .

i had a discusion last night with my big siter about the homeless decisions in generaly she said something along the lines of sometimes i wonder what decisions people make to get where they are. . . and while a lot depends on how we handle what’s thrown at us i have to believe that just as much depends on just what is thrown at us. . .

back to apathy,   look at how we treat our homeless, we’ve become a culture desensitized to those most in need, the elderly, the unborn, the dying, the poor, the homeless, the uneducated. . .

"Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles.  From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command 
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame,
"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
With silent lips.

"Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore,
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!""

by Emma Lazarus, New York City, 1883

when and where did we loose the meaning of these words. . .

there’s so much more i feel needs said on this subject. . . like look where our apathy has led us, look who we have in office, what do they stand for, do we even have a clue?

would we be engaged in a war who’s cause has been argued not civil rights but oil

woudl we be pumping money into a war machine? or would we be pumping money into developing developing countries

would we be down selling to the point that we have put hundreds of thousands of people out of work just to save a few bucks

essentialy we’ve been desensitized to everything but ourselves, we dont see the homeless anymore, they are just features on our city sidewalks

politics has confused womens rights to the point htat its a political decison to be ok or not ok with the murdur of the unborn

and public health services cant offer objective service to women because of this political skewing

and who, can i ask is responsibile for this apathy. . .

me, i am,  so are you, yes you

i was thinking about prayer today

sometimes the only thing we can do in certain situations is pray, and it kills us to only be able to do that,

but how often do we pray with out action, when we can act

prayer without action, when we are able to act, is hypocrytical

action, with out prayer is well futile

the two really need to be put togehter if we want to make a differend, if i want to make a difference, if you want to make a difference. . .

thats it for now

(not all comments are based on research, apathy is my problem too, im acknowledging it, to change it)